just listening helps...
Published on March 9, 2007 By TheSnowbear In Life Journals
Recently a friend's close friend's child died after being in this world 3 days. She had a rare heart defect. At times words aren't easy to say.. my friend expressed the need for us to listen to those who have lost a loved one.. even at this early an age.. It helps with the healing process. I will admit it has been hard at times to listen to someone who lost a loved one. even if it was someone they had know all their lives.. like a grandparent, parent, etc.

But to listen to someone talking about a child they had held only 3 days.. to listen to their heartbreak of a smile they saw.. or something in the little one's eyes... This has made me uncomfortable. But, after reading my friends blog, I realize the importance of doing just that. To actually listen to them, letting them talk it out, Realizing if they brought it up they have a need to discuss it.. to share it, to deal with the loss. Then in later years to share something of that special child they had but a short while.

This goes on to any parent who 's child dies. I can not think of something more painful than to loose a child. I've had grandparents die, aunts, uncles, and both my parents, but to loose my child, I can't even bare to think of that. Yet I see parents go on with life after such an event. Life does go on.. that is true, but now I will be a bit more caring, lend an ear a bit more, endure an uncomfortable feeling to allow someone else to talk even if it is a bit difficult.

I have taken things for granted at times, and now realize that life needs to be lived, enjoyed, but also, most importantly, it needs to be appreciated. Appreciated for the good as well as the bad times.

Thanks for stopping by, take care, and don't forget to say hi!

Comments
on Mar 09, 2007
Losing a child is the hardest thing, for no matter the reason, the parent will always think it was their fault.
on Mar 09, 2007
Parents have the guilt factor heavy... hopefully time & friends can help remove some of that...
on Mar 09, 2007
I think even more strongly, that child was with your friend for nine months as well. It's a sad thing, being there for her is a good thing.